I RATE ADS

sjbooher: Love it. Taking clips of what (Marvin Gaye’s performance at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game) is regarded as the greatest rendition of the national anthem of all time and combining it with shots of Team USA practicing? Brilliant. These guys have worked for 3 years — and arguably their entire lives — to ensure they have an entirely different rendition of the Star Spangled Banner forever ingrained in their memories — the one playing during the Men’s Basketball Medal Ceremony. While this long version borders on AEM, there is a succinct 30 second version that is airing throughout the Olympics, which still gets the point across. I’m also a big fan of the iconic “Just Do It” tagline, which this spot uses at the end. My only criticism is that Nike could probably have spotted their product a little better, but in this case, advertising the team is essentially the equivalent of advertising their company. I’m a hopeless basketball/music romantic, and this ad was made for me. A.

jtherkal: Nike–aka W+K–has a real thing for finding some footage, putting a song to it and calling it a commercial. Granted, there’s a bit more to this concept than that. And their string of outstanding branding practices have enabled them to throw this formula out there and have it succeed time after time. But this one doesn’t quite do it for me. I don’t know if it’s the wrong shots, if it’s too long, if it doesn’t really look like they’re busting their asses, but surprisingly, something fails to give me the chills or get me fired up, as so many Nike ads do. It’s still not bad. B-.

In related news, I interviewed some of these guys in Vegas while they were getting ready for the games. I’m famous. SJB had practice access–we’re both famous! The highlight was asking Tyson Chandler how he sleeps in hotel beds when he travels, does he order giant beds? Put a rollaway at the bottom if a normal one? The answer: Curled up on his side, just like me. The other highlight was that Jason Kidd’s girlfriend had a BANGIN’ body. You could almost see her goodies when she bent over the Kraft services table to get some candy. Coach K has a foul mouth.

sjbooher: Hilarious. I love this on every comedic level. My favorite part is when Kanye says, “That was awesome”. This viral campaign also has an accompanying website, where the shenanigans continue. I love the rollover trick with the bald white guy. Of course, though, I have to complain about the advertising portion of this. It’s for Absolut, but for what, exactly? And is that infomercial going to air on TV? Will anyone know about this? How far are they going to take it? Until some of those questions are answered, I’ll go with B-.

jtherkal: Part of me wants to not like it, but I can’t help it. Pretty great. I think even though the initial branding of Absolut isn’t clear, the after-effect is going to be strong. People will notice this, be a part of it, and it should create a buzz for Absolut. I love the part when he asks, “How many times have you told yourself, I feel famous and powerful on the inside, but nobody sees it that way on the outside” and the answer “300 TIMES!” flashes on the screen. Also, the Be Kanye quiz on the website–where you can’t even answer any questions–is good. There is part of me that wonders, what happened to the famous, iconic Absolut advertising? But most of me just likes it. A-.

In anticipation of the latest Batman movie, a couple companies (at least) have partnered with the makers of the movie for co-branded ads.

Comcast Triple Play:

sjbooher: I’ve actually seen this one on tv. Clever. “Some Joker blew up the mini-van.” Get it? The idea of a regular family living in Gotham City is funny, but the writers mailed this one in. Seems like they could have made this funnier and even more enjoyable. B-.

jtherkal: I have to agree. A normal family in Gotham City is fertile ground for comedy, but they didn’t quite nail it here. The fear toxin and the idea that $99 Comcast makes Gotham paradise is sort of funny. Well, maybe not the fear toxin. C+.

Domino’s Pizza:

sjbooher: I like this one more. Hahahahaha. The Joker owes her a car. What a fool he is… doesn’t he want his minions fed? Let the delivery lady be! They could have used a few more pizza shots, though. Nothing sells pizza better than pictures of pizza. A-.

jtherkal: I don’t really care for this commercial. I understand the goons’ motivation–pizza is delicious–but where is Batman? Why wouldn’t they just kill her when she got to the door? The Joker don’t owe nobody no car, bitch! I guess this doesn’t have to be logical, but I still don’t like it. Partially because Domino’s pizza is the worst pizza. D+.

On a related note, watch and enjoy:

jtherkal: I’ve now seen this one enough to officially have the opinion that there’s something catchy about the music, but nothing that really makes me want the pants. It makes me think white people love San Francisco and that Dockers are for squares. Which I suppose is their target market. Mission sort of accomplished. In related news, for about seven years I wore nothing but baggy khakis and t-shirts. B-.

sjbooher: I love this commercial because of this, Gang Starr’s “Check The Technique”. Another musical commercial win. When this ad comes on, there is a good chance you will find me dancing wildly throughout my apartment. Awesome. Also, Dockers tries to make one thing very clear: “If it ain’t white, it ain’t right.” Can’t fault them for pinpointing a market, and going after it, I guess. I will say that the music and visuals make these people seem “cooler” than I normally would think they were. Success. A-.

jtherkal: I’ve been on board for most of the Skittles work, but this isn’t one of my favorites. It’s not nearly as bad as the sour milk-nipple-farmer ad, but chocolate Skittles seem terrible and this does nothing to tell me that they’re delicious. Why would I ever eat chewy, fake chocolate when I can get the same sized items in the form of M&Ms, which are made of real chocolate? Aside from that error, some of the performance is good (”what did you think was going to happen?”), and the idea of a pinata man isn’t bad, but overall this just misses for me.

That being said, almost all of the teams working on candy for TBWA/Chiat (Skittles, Snickers) have left the agency. So Chiat, I’m available if you need me. But I won’t bump your grade here. I have integrity. Some. B-.

sjbooher: Chocolate Skittles? Huh? When I think Skittles, I think of delicious fruit flavors. Chocolate Skittles are just… weird. And this is a very weird. I do think it is semi-funny that the guy got the hell beaten out of him, but they do not really tell us why the hitter thought he was a pinata. I agree that it misses. I also think the idea of chocolate Skittles is so out of character for the brand that we need a little better product explanation here. D.

jtherkal: “they do not really tell us why the hitter thought he was a pinata.” Seriously? Well, detective, your first hint might be that HE IS MADE OF PINATA! The man is an actual walking pinata! Maybe it would help if he said, “I’m made of pinata material, but I am not a pinata.” Or if he carried a sign that said, “People think I’m a Pinata because my skin is made of paper mache and crepe paper.” Do you even watch these?

sjbooher: Wow… and it all makes sense now, and is a lot funnier! “A moment of clarity”, is what I believe they call this. I guess I’ll leave my grade as is, in hopes that there are other idiots out there somewhere, in the ether. I just thought he was disheveled from getting the crap beaten out of him. I’ll chalk it up to poor video quality? Bueller? Bueller?

jtherkal: Advertising today is going in new and strange directions. Dr. Pepper certainly recognizes the role YouTube is going to play in it all. Until a few weeks ago, I had never heard of Tay Zonday, but a million other people had. Just a guy making a song. For some reason or another, mostly because it’s ridiculous, millions (over 20 million views!) of people watched his video. So what does Diet Cherry Cholocolate Dr. Pepper do? Give him some production dollars and put a video on youtube. Was it a waste of money? Over four million views say no. He moves away from the mic so he can breathe! The only bad thing I have to say about this is the ending. They didn’t need anything more than the bottle being splashed. That terrible cherry chocolate logo, which was apparently created by someone vomiting design elements into a blender, then blending it and pouring it into a “terrible logo” mold, was unnecessary. A-.

And need I mention the strange awfulness of “Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper”? I can’t even begin to fathom what that tastes like.

sjbooher: Tay is awesome, “Chocolate Rain” is above and beyond awesome, and the idea of this video is absolutely brilliant. While I cannot say I think the end product is perfect — I would have wanted the product featured a little more prominently and told Mista Johnson he can be in “the next one” — it does not matter. Millions of views are getting the brand out there. B-.

jtherkal: The Hoff is in the house! Finally someone cashes in on the Germans love David Hasselhoff joke! But this is only mildly amusing and mildly memorable, which means it’s only mildly effective. Which also means I’m only going to put a mild effort into reviewing it. B-.

sjbooher: I spent my entire weekend watching the NBA Playoffs, which seemed to feature one of these Volkswagen ads, either with Hasselhoff, Shawn Fanning, Bob Knight, or Heidi Klum, on every commercial break. I did not actually listen to any of these until now, due to the glory of DVR, but that matters not. These are still highly effective. In fact, due to the weak, cliche and lazy (Bob Knight throwing a chair? Come on!) writing employed, I’d say it’s better to see these on fast forward (although I do think it is funny when Klum causes the car to blush — ha!). These are visually stunning and invoke the most recognizable Volkswagen symbol, the Bug. I definitely have Volkswagen on the brain after this deluge. However, other than strengthening the brand, I am not sure what is being shilled here… Oh, that is probably due to the “mute” issue. B-.

jtherkal: One irateads reader commented that we skew heavily toward rating ads that target males. Since my associate and I are both sport-watching males, we do tend to review a somewhat limited range of commercials. “Why don’t you review that Dove: Fresh Takes micro-series that airs during The Hills?” she went on to suggest. Why don’t we, indeed. Amazingly, I haven’t seen the commercials promoting this or the actual micro-series–even through I’m a closet Hills fan (Lauren = wife).

Then, the very night she suggested Fresh Takes, I came home from a soccer game to find a film crew set up around my building. When I tried to get in, I asked what they were filming…you guessed it, Dove Fresh Takes! Nick O’Shea La Shae and Alicia Keys were hanging out in my lobby. So I watched the first episodes and I have to say, pretty well done. It doesn’t feel nearly as second-rate as I thought it would. The writing is decent (”I’m a shrimp, with monkey arms.”), good production quality and best of all, they don’t force the product into every scene. The plots are a little predictable and kind of expected, but as the series goes on I imagine they’ll get more, um, imaginative.

I know my compadre has a tendency to rate ads that don’t feature the product poorly, but I think this still gets the Dove name out there and makes it seem cool. As some guy I work with says, the brand has to give something back. In this case, they’re giving girls a little entertaining show and not hard-selling anything. This series probably plays better online, where you can watch a few in a row. On the MTV series page, they have a small tout at the bottom linking out to the Dove Go Fresh site.

I bet girls like this. Also, Alicia Keys = wife. A.

sjbooher: All true points. I don’t watch the Hills, but I love teen dramas, and twenty-somethings dramas are close enough to appeal to me. And I love Alicia Keys. Even though she’s supposed to just be “one of the girls” in these, she tends to stand out, in a funny way. Whenever she comes on the scene, it’s like the see-all-know-all guardian angel coming in with priceless advice, and it feels after-school-specialish — but in a good way. It’s awesome. She’s like a ray of sunshine leading young women across the world to the promised land. This is just the type of romantic, idealistic crap that I love. More Alicia!

I am skeptical about the pure advertising value of these, however. Do viewers remember the Dove brand while watching? Do Alicia’s positive vibes translate to the brand? Or is Dove just footing the bill for some quality entertainment, while reaping none of the rewards? For all I know, based solely on this campaign, Dove could be producing some sort of plastic bag that keeps your freezer goods fresh. Miss Keys is definitely a winner here, as she gets to showcase her acting skills and music, but I am not sure if Dove comes out on top. B-.

sjbooher: This makes me feel uncomfortable. I do not know quite the right word to describe this type of ad… pretentious? self-righteous? ostentatious? self-prostenteous? Whatever it is, I don’t like it. When “they” made this ad, how did “they” think I was going to feel when I watched it? I bet “they” did not think I would feel like I was suddenly catching a bird’s eye view of some creepy child molester, carrying his big red umbrella to attract all the kids and take them into the woods… awful.

Onto the more technical side of things, does the average person still instantly recognize the red umbrella? If not, this might just be a monumental failure. I remember the commercials from back in the day, so I knew right away what was going on, but I also had a family member that worked for Traveler’s, and red umbrella stuff was always around the house. Even if they do not, I guess this at least gets the ol’ umbrella back out there. D.

jtherkal: Why does every old man with a giant red umbrella have to be a child molester? I didn’t really know what Travelers was, but I knew that the red umbrella was some sort of icon. It’s strange enough to get my attention and it definitely stands apart from other insurance commercials. Maybe this was just the first of a series, designed to introduce the giant red umbrella so you recognize it when you see it in future ads. If not, this seems a little inadequate. What are they promising? Low prices? Good service? Giant red umbrellas? I guess it starts to establish a personality for the brand. And I noticed it. B-.

Word I’m unable to spell properly without a dictionary: inadequate. inadaquit.

sjbooher: Controversy! This ad has the internet blowing up, as surly red-staters get all in a huff about Mexico/U.S. relations, illegal immigration, etc. And controversy sells, right? Well, maybe. This ad was originally run in only Mexico, where it was probably well received. 20 years ago it could have been marked as an advertising success, and everyone would go on with their lives. But in this digital age, no image is safe from instantaneous worldwide transmission. As a result, this could in fact hurt Absolut’s sales in the good ol’ U S of A, where there is a segment of society that this ad will really piss off. Will the good outweigh the bad? I don’t know, but the fact that there is a bad, hurts the grade of an otherwise provocative ad. B-.

jtherkal: Is Absolut’s target audience the type of person this ad would piss off? Seems to me the people who would get fired up about this are more Smirnoff and Popov drinkers. They don’t need no fancy, fruity vodka drinks. In the end, I’m not from Mexico, so I can’t say I’m a big fan. I guess if they want Texas, they can have it. But we’re keeping California. C.

Update: Absolut issues apology over the ad.

jtherkal update: Absolut, a bunch of pussies.

“In no way was it meant to offend or disparage, nor does it advocate an altering of borders, nor does it lend support to any anti-American sentiment, nor does it reflect immigration issues,” Absolut said in a statement left on its consumer inquiry phone line. Ummmm…seems like it definitely lends support to an anti-American sentiment. And they have a right to do so. There’s no rule that says advertising in other countries can’t make fun of America. I mean, our advertising would never, ever play on a negative stereotype of, say, a Mexican…