I RATE ADS

jtherkal: Aside from the fact that this is just not a good commercial, it’s one of the worst products known to man. $1 to get an answer to a text question? If you ever use this service, they should put you on a list of people who should not be allowed to be in charge of anything, ever. I’m sure there were a stack of funny scripts involving some sort of race to avoid physical pain by answering a question, I’m just not sure how this one was the winner. Product, F. Ad, D+.

sjbooher: And the fatal flaw? As my wife pointed out, the second guy should have obviously repeated exactly what the first guy said. F.

sjbooher: Talk and words. The title says it all. F.

jtherkal: I looked where the arrow said to. It said Sony. And maybe I paid too much, but I never have to look at my TV and think man, I bought a shitty Vizeo TV. I don’t even know what that is. That being said, it got me to look at where my TV says Sony. And that made me happy. D+.

sjbooher:Last year, I thought the NFL story ad incorporated the good aspects of a “based on a true story” movie — not so much this year. If last year’s version was a wide-release, nationwide movie, this year’s is a made for TV joint. The interview portions are engaging and interesting, but the scripted portions are garbage. D+.

jtherkal: Agree. Totally. Someone probably said, “let’s make it more exciting.” Which translated into trash. Booooooo. D.

sjbooher: I sort of like the drawing whatever you want concept, but don’t like the actual execution of it, here. Drinkability, itself, as my cohort said, is sort of dumb. Blah. D+.

jtherkal: I hate the drawing concept. Seems like something that sounded good on paper and turned out to be awful and boring in execution. And “Drinkability” is the worst, though it seems to be catching on as a joke. I’ve heard people talking about it. This particular ad is terrible, but I can’t deny enjoying watching the skier crash through all the tables. D+.

jtherkal: I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hope I never see another Clydesdale commercial. I feel like this is one of those Family Guy jokes, where the gag just goes on and on and on and on and just when you think it’s not funny, it goes on a little more, and a little more, until suddenly it’s funny just because it won’t end. You ever seen two horses fucking? F.

sjbooher: Back-to-back Clydesdales on that ass! Whut! Whut! D+

jtherkal: I am so unbelievably glad I’m not part of the team charged with writing fifty horse joke commercials. Sure, I could write some horse jokes, but they’d all be glue factory or horse-cock punchlines. F.

sjbooher: Honorable Clydesdale > Court jester Clydesdale. D+.

sjbooher: So stupid and terrible. A crotch joke? Fail. F.

jtherkal: So wait, is this another user-created Doritos ad? Are they still doing that, where they have a contest and the best ad runs during the Super Bowl? They had a decent laugh up until the button at the end. Why, why why do you need a crotch joke in there? I agree with fail, but I like the crystal ball through the candy machine…D+.

sjbooher: And the world is apparently abuzz over this one… guess that means something. I upgrade to D+.

jtherkal: Ha. Ha. I like that Burger King is willing to take risks, as this was clearly going to create some controversy. The idea breaks down when you get to the logic. Who cares what someone who has never, ever had a burger prefers? They might think grasshoppers or bamboo taste delicious. In America, we’re burger experts. I know a good burger. If someone from the moon gave me two kinds of moon cake to taste and I picked one, it wouldn’t necessarily mean that is the better moon cake. It would just mean to my unrefined palate, one is more familiar. And I’m sorry, but The Big Mac is in a different class than the Whopper; I don’t even consider The Big Mac a burger. It needs its own classification, like “delicious meatlike substance housed in breadlike objects.” D+.

jtherkal: Yes! Yes, NFL, I will. I love the song, I love the visuals, and I love football. DirectTV is already billing me for my NFL Sunday Ticket. So this starts to get me fired up. The only thing is, I still think Reebok mostly sucks. Most people probably mistake this for an NFL ad. I guess since Reebok is the official outfitter of the NFL, it sort of doesn’t matter which you think it is. Peyton Manning bangs out the first of what will probably be another 1000 commercials during the upcoming season. And Eli Manning gets one in the books, even though he looks like a nerd. Maybe he’ll get some charisma when he grows up. For the NFL, A. For Reebok branding, D+.

In anticipation of the latest Batman movie, a couple companies (at least) have partnered with the makers of the movie for co-branded ads.

Comcast Triple Play:

sjbooher: I’ve actually seen this one on tv. Clever. “Some Joker blew up the mini-van.” Get it? The idea of a regular family living in Gotham City is funny, but the writers mailed this one in. Seems like they could have made this funnier and even more enjoyable. B-.

jtherkal: I have to agree. A normal family in Gotham City is fertile ground for comedy, but they didn’t quite nail it here. The fear toxin and the idea that $99 Comcast makes Gotham paradise is sort of funny. Well, maybe not the fear toxin. C+.

Domino’s Pizza:

sjbooher: I like this one more. Hahahahaha. The Joker owes her a car. What a fool he is… doesn’t he want his minions fed? Let the delivery lady be! They could have used a few more pizza shots, though. Nothing sells pizza better than pictures of pizza. A-.

jtherkal: I don’t really care for this commercial. I understand the goons’ motivation–pizza is delicious–but where is Batman? Why wouldn’t they just kill her when she got to the door? The Joker don’t owe nobody no car, bitch! I guess this doesn’t have to be logical, but I still don’t like it. Partially because Domino’s pizza is the worst pizza. D+.

On a related note, watch and enjoy: