sjbooher: B for booooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring. So really a D. The only thing saving them from an F is that really, they are the only domain hosting site that the computer illiterate really know about, and that is solely because of their continued Super Bowl presence.
jtherkal: First, Danika Patrick is not causing ANY fuss. None. And what do you want me to see more of? A girl in an unrevealing tank top? Give me a break. The SI Swimsuit Issue just came out. Maybe there’ll be some actual melons in there. F.
jtherkal: Let me see if I have the formula right. Begin with stupid, somewhat predictable joke situation. Follow with some sort of slapstick comedy. Make $500,000. Can I get a film crew, a donkey, a blindfold, a wiffle-ball bat, and a bag of Doritos. And go ahead and put in a bid for that 1BR in the East Village. I’m about to have some dough. C-, for Dorito suit craftsmanship.
sjbooher: So they ran out of time on the animation right? Is that squirrel in an attic? A garage? Outside? In what room is there a pineapple and a bar with weights? Why is the room empty… and yet also full of stuff? What does the song have to do with a “new idea”? When is this cool new animated movie about a squirrel coming out? D.
jtherkal: I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand. Is that squirrel getting ready for winter? So he needs a van? Are we supposed to use Honda vans like extra storage space? Was he cleaning out his tree carport so he could park his Honda there? “Just what we all need, another brilliant idea from Honda.” What does that even mean, coming after 25 seconds of a squirrel cleaning up? I think they mixed up the footage and VO. Maybe this was supposed to be an animation for some ad about storage and there would have been some clever line about squirrels, nuts, vans, and more room. F.
jtherkal: Yeah, I want to like something this strange. I love Indian guys. But this just isn’t good. Unless these are actual Indian personalities, who we just don’t know about, this can be no better than a D.
sjbooher: And there’s some creepy manvertising going on that I didn’t even catch (although I did subliminally, I guess… as I remember thinking, “Damn, I wish the Losties had ignored Jack. Then someone else could have been the main character!”). D. From manvertised.com:
“This Bud Light ad, though, is by far the most disturbing. The woman, attempting to take charge of the group of survivors, demonstrating a technical aptitude and leadership skills, is immediately drowned out by a prototyptical manvertising character, the dumb guy who only cares about beer. Her efforts are thwarted, twice, by his unwillingness to let her spoil the fun. Here, the woman’s voice is an disruptive annoyance.”
jtherkal: I don’t understand. Were those men not really men, because they weren’t wearing their pants? I like the campaign thought for Dockers, men starting to wear the pants in the family again. But this ad missed the mark. And could it have come in a worse spot? Right after the Careerbuilder underwear spot! Take that, Dockers. D.
sjbooher: Let the manvertising begin. This ad set off a sickening trend in this year’s Super Bowl ads that left me near nausea. Over the past year or so, I have learned and thought a lot about what I will somewhat ignorantly label as “sexism”… probably “gender something or other” is a closer term, but whatever. This was sparked by conversations with my dear friend Colleen and my (at the time) impending fatherhood. Writers such as Ta-Nehisi Coates and Peter Alilunas, who runs manvertised.com have provided written catalysts for this education, especially the latter when it comes to advertising. He can speak on these issues at much higher level than I, so I’ll leave the meaty critique to him. All I know is, I have no problem letting my wife make a decision, I like the color pink, I LOVE the Rachel Zoe Project and I will freely admit Mark Sanchez looked good in that CBS Cares Ad. And I am VERY MUCH still a man. And if I decide not to wear pants? I am still a man. So don’t put me in your crude, neanderthal box, Dockers.
sjbooher: Whatever swayable beer market share is out there, it is Bud’s. There was no beer competition this year. This is one of those that was a good, kind of clever idea on paper, but the final product did not have “it”. And I do not like it, but I have to give Budweiser credit for simply raising the IQ level of their ads. B- on the curve.
jtherkal: Predictable. Bud clearly goes with quantity over quality. What did I give that space ad? This should probably be the same. D.
UPDATE: From sjbooher’s wife, an 8th grade teacher: “8th graders think that the human bridge is real and that it was done with real people. Amazing”
sjbooher: Jay-Z deaded autotune for those in the know, but it’s still valid for the hopelessly culturally behind. This probably could have been funny… but it wasn’t. Only T-Pain saves this from a D. C-.
jtherkal: I heard that Jay-Z song. It didn’t say anything about the death of jokes about autotune, did it? It should have. Autotune jokes have been done, but I guess we shouldn’t expect Bud Light to do anything not already established as a proven gag. Here’s the best autotune skit I’ve seen:
sjbooher: What’s the best way to get away with racial stereotypes and misogyny? A cute kid slapping someone! Awful. And the kid is not as good as the role models kid, and they gave the man a effed up haircut (see: Ridiculous Black Men). D… only because I know the ignant masses probably love it.
jtherkal: Keep your hands off my Doritos and keep your hands off my momma. User created, average. America will vote for anything with a slap or a nut kick. I think this whole series of “user generated” garbage will get a C.
jtherkal: Really? Funny? If you’re going to redo a classic, you have to come a little stronger than that. Not only did I not think it was very funny, it’s annoying to the point that I’ll change the channel next time it’s on. Ditka saved this one. D.