I RATE ADS

sjbooher: Throughout his campaign, one aspect of Obama’s personality that has really struck me, is his ability to take the high road. McCain and his party have continually done the opposite of that, attacking Obama at any and every point. With this ad, criticizing McCain for criticizing Obama… has Barack decided stop turning the other cheek? It’s somewhat disappointing but I guess inevitable. Let mud slinging begin. All-in-all this ad is straightforward, standard and boring, and I have never met anyone who changed their mind about presidential candidates, so I’m not even sure if these things work. C.

jtherkal: This ad had the proportions wrong. 80% should have been focused on the last part, where he calls out McCain’s history of voting with Bush; 20% on McCain’s smear ads. It seems hypocritical to run a smear ad about your opponent running smear ads. Instead, Obama could have simply corrected all of McCain’s misinformation. That would both point out that McCain runs deceptive ads AND show you the positive things Obama stands for. If you’re going to take the moral high road, you can’t be pulling stunts like this. This isn’t change. D for disappointed.

In related news, there was something in the paper this morning about the absurd amount of money spent on political advertising. I have to agree that the whole thing gets a bit ridiculous. In my opinion, political ads are never really about the issues (and if they are, there is generally some sort of false spin on them) and they should be outlawed. Leave the campaigning to the hippie tree-huggers with buttons and bible-toting pro-lifer’s bumper stickers.

jtherkal: If anyone loves things in the future, it’s me. Hell, I once ate Future City french fries. I own Futura Super Socks. But this ad, set in some sort of futuristic gladiator stadium, is about the most useless, drab, unimaginative spot I’ve ever seen in the last week. First, the car isn’t fighting anything in that stadium, what are all of those stupid people so excited about? Second, the copy is terrible. “The totally, completely, 100%, all new Mazda 6.” Only they kept the same shitty tagline? “Zoom Zoom. Forever.” is like the kiss of death for anyone working on Mazda. Zoom Zoom is over. Dead. Buried. Let it go. It’s like Who Let The Dogs Out. Good when it came out, terrible now. This does the opposite of making me want a Mazda. F F forever.

sjbooher: First of all, “Zoom Zoom” was never good. Terrible the minute it was birthed and that horrid faux-Caribbean song ran incessantly in my head. Horrid. Second, I agree that the played out “Mad Max” theme is not very inspiring here, but I am more in the “oh, ok, whatever” position. I’ll go with a solid “meh”. Just another boring, forgettable ad. D.

jtherkal: As my girlfriend would say, “Womp womp.” Which is actually, waaa waaa–some sort of horn noise from television when something funny and deflating happens. It’s a noise you make when the joke is dumb and obvious, a mocking noise, which would be appropriate for this, since it’s not really funny. The old double-entendre “hot” joke, switching up spicy for sexy. Very clever Carl’s Jr. The sandwich even looks sort of disgusting. Fail. D.

sjbooher: This makes me laugh and smile every time. Sometimes a dumb and obvious jokes — “jokes in a can” as I like to call them — can be lazy and boring. Sometimes they are genious, like this one. Either way, whether you think it’s funny or not, it probably at least grabs your eye, and they use their trademark voice over guy, which instantly says “Carl’s Jr.”. I think I would have liked it a little bit better though if it had been slightly more subtle. The hit-’em-over-the-head punchline was unnecessary… or was it? This is mostly dumb America we are talking about. A.

sjbooher: This ad is weird. So she has the power to freeze time, and she uses it to eat cereal? And if you are fat, does it really cause problems with your top button? Wouldn’t it be the button by your stomach? And the way she opens her blouse at the end is odd, too. I don’t get it. At least she’s hot and the cereal looks appetizing. C-.

jtherkal: What are you watching that this is on? Oprah? This is a commercial I would never take notice of, let alone take the time to find on YouTube and write a review about. I’m obviously not the target (although I am getting a bit of a belly), but even if I was, this is pretty bland. I can’t fail it, but there’s nothing good about it–save the suggestive tug at the blouse. D.

sjbooher: The interesting part is, that all of these cereal, yogurt, etc. ads you seeing reviewed came from a broadcast of the World Poker Tour on the GSN. Seems to me they aren’t selling targeted ad space, but instead just general ad space for their network. Unless there is a secret brigade of underground housewife poker players!

jtherkal: I know what you’re thinking. This should be filed under All Time Favorites, since it’s so old. But no. I still see this ad all of the time. At this point, the only thing I think when I see it is “they’re still running this?” It’s time for some new advertising Sprite. I like you, but you have to make me want you. Also, your new silver can design makes me think regular a Diet Sprite, and for that reason I often go for a Dr. Pepper instead. Originally I liked this. Dog days of summer, splaying sports with friends, nothing like a refreshing swim in a basketball court to cool off. Get a new ad. D.

sjbooher: I have seen/heard this one a ton of times, yet I could not have associated it with a product, prior to this close examination. They spell it right out in the ad, but I guess for some reason I do not pay attention to it. I feel like I like it, but the results speak for themselves. D.

jtherkal: I’ve been on board for most of the Skittles work, but this isn’t one of my favorites. It’s not nearly as bad as the sour milk-nipple-farmer ad, but chocolate Skittles seem terrible and this does nothing to tell me that they’re delicious. Why would I ever eat chewy, fake chocolate when I can get the same sized items in the form of M&Ms, which are made of real chocolate? Aside from that error, some of the performance is good (”what did you think was going to happen?”), and the idea of a pinata man isn’t bad, but overall this just misses for me.

That being said, almost all of the teams working on candy for TBWA/Chiat (Skittles, Snickers) have left the agency. So Chiat, I’m available if you need me. But I won’t bump your grade here. I have integrity. Some. B-.

sjbooher: Chocolate Skittles? Huh? When I think Skittles, I think of delicious fruit flavors. Chocolate Skittles are just… weird. And this is a very weird. I do think it is semi-funny that the guy got the hell beaten out of him, but they do not really tell us why the hitter thought he was a pinata. I agree that it misses. I also think the idea of chocolate Skittles is so out of character for the brand that we need a little better product explanation here. D.

jtherkal: “they do not really tell us why the hitter thought he was a pinata.” Seriously? Well, detective, your first hint might be that HE IS MADE OF PINATA! The man is an actual walking pinata! Maybe it would help if he said, “I’m made of pinata material, but I am not a pinata.” Or if he carried a sign that said, “People think I’m a Pinata because my skin is made of paper mache and crepe paper.” Do you even watch these?

sjbooher: Wow… and it all makes sense now, and is a lot funnier! “A moment of clarity”, is what I believe they call this. I guess I’ll leave my grade as is, in hopes that there are other idiots out there somewhere, in the ether. I just thought he was disheveled from getting the crap beaten out of him. I’ll chalk it up to poor video quality? Bueller? Bueller?

jtherkal: This is a pretty typical shampoo ad for ladies. My question is, do any of them stand out? To me, this is about as forgettable as it gets. Generic music, weak voiceover, lame graphics, average model. I am somewhat intrigued by this “repairing serum” they speak of. Tell me more about that. D.

In related news, guys have no idea how to buy shampoo. My brother once came home with a drug-store brand shampoo named “Tangerine Tickle.” I think his the decision making process that resulted in that purchase would be an interesting case study. For me, anything that says “shampoo and conditioner” seems to work. And anything in a bright green or blue bottle appears to be a more effective shampoo. Packaging is everything.

sjbooher: Interesting (or horrible, you make the call) side note… jtherkal used to, and may still, use shampoo for his entire body — not just his head hair. No soap, just shampoo. Anyway… what about all that sleek, shiny hair shown? And what about that precious “repairing serum” or whatever they said? Boring, that’s “what about”. This does seem to like every other shampoo ad, so that cannot be good. At least they are showing the product and I know what is for — somewhat of a rare commodity these days. C-.

sjbooher: I despise these board room ads. They are boring and have been done a million times, so anything said is just a bunch of BLAH BLAH BLAH white noise. There are least two of these in circulation right now, the other being a Southwest Ad with the actor BKA Clay Davis, from The Wire. This raises another question… why are these second-rate actors sought for these? Do they get paid more than the standard commercial actor? If so, that makes these even worse, as I can throw “waste of money” into the mix. F-.

jtherkal: Overused formula, yes. Effective formula? Absolutely not. This is almost entirely irrelevant to me as a consumer. They completely bury the selling point (that DirectTV has more HD channels), meaning I walk away from this with zero understanding of what they were trying to tell me. It’s hard out there for a satellite provider. As a DirecTv subscriber I can tell you the only reason to get DirecTv is if you can’t get cable. There it is. The foundation for the future of DirecTv’s marketing: When you can’t get cable, get DirecTv. I will say that I laugh at that guy’s suggestion of making their channels louder, and then shouting the nightly news line. That keeps this from an F. D.

jtherkal: A star-fucking creative director’s dream. I guess this plays up the elite aspect of Macy’s, and it lets you know you can get products endorsed by famous people there. But do you really want Mariah Carey’s perfume? Or Donald Trump’s tie? I don’t. You know what else I don’t want? Santana. Does he even have a Macy’s line? If not, who chose him to be the only non-product-endorsing person in this ad? Something about Santana is terrible. Whenever I see someone do a song with Santana I think, well, that person’s career is in the toilet. The biggest miss here is with Mariah’s wardrobe. Where’s the cleavage?! Bring it out! D.

sjbooher: I admit it, I am completely biased on this one. Anything that has to do with Mariah Carey, I love. I see and hear her, and everything else is inconsequential. I must say, though, that it is bizarre that you think that someone doing a song with Santana, widely regarded as one of the greatest guitar players of all-time, is a bad thing. A.

sjbooher: This makes me feel uncomfortable. I do not know quite the right word to describe this type of ad… pretentious? self-righteous? ostentatious? self-prostenteous? Whatever it is, I don’t like it. When “they” made this ad, how did “they” think I was going to feel when I watched it? I bet “they” did not think I would feel like I was suddenly catching a bird’s eye view of some creepy child molester, carrying his big red umbrella to attract all the kids and take them into the woods… awful.

Onto the more technical side of things, does the average person still instantly recognize the red umbrella? If not, this might just be a monumental failure. I remember the commercials from back in the day, so I knew right away what was going on, but I also had a family member that worked for Traveler’s, and red umbrella stuff was always around the house. Even if they do not, I guess this at least gets the ol’ umbrella back out there. D.

jtherkal: Why does every old man with a giant red umbrella have to be a child molester? I didn’t really know what Travelers was, but I knew that the red umbrella was some sort of icon. It’s strange enough to get my attention and it definitely stands apart from other insurance commercials. Maybe this was just the first of a series, designed to introduce the giant red umbrella so you recognize it when you see it in future ads. If not, this seems a little inadequate. What are they promising? Low prices? Good service? Giant red umbrellas? I guess it starts to establish a personality for the brand. And I noticed it. B-.

Word I’m unable to spell properly without a dictionary: inadequate. inadaquit.