Archive for the ‘F minus’ Category

#3.5 — Homeaway.com — Minister Of Tourism

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

sjbooher: Huh? Huh-what-say-what? F.

jtherkal: I could not agree more. What an absolute clusterfuck disaster of a spot, for what is essentially an awesome and easy to understand service. This makes me embarrassed to work in the profession. Shameful. On behalf of all of advertising, I’m sorry HomeAway, that you blew your money on such a piece of dogshit. And then put that piece of dogshit on television for half a billion viewers to step in. Next year, I will write you 25 Super Bowl spots for free if you contact me. All better than this. You read that right. 25. F-.

#1.6 — Pepsi Max — Stereotypalooza

Monday, February 7th, 2011

sjbooher: Where to even begin. Horrible gender stereotypes and “manvertising“. Horrible racial stereotypes. Pepsi Max did their best to appeal to the lowest common denominator all night long. So lazy. I try never to drink your poison as it is, but if I do have a taste for it, you can bet I’m buying a Coke after this night of horrors. F.

jtherkal: Made and voted on by the consumer alert! Another one of the Pepsi/Dorito contest winners. Looks like this is how America thinks, since enough people voted on this one to make it one of the top three Pepsi Max spots. The ending is the worst possible part, with the can throw. Ugh. And what’s worse? The nagging wife stereotype, or if the commercial had been about a husband doing the same thing to a fat wife because Americans hate fat women? That guy ate soap. F-.

#3.10 — Census — Christopher Guest

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

jtherkal: Someone has been trying to sell a Christopher Guest script forever and they finally did it. Congratulations! You’re an unimaginative failure! Since it’s my job to know something about advertising, I read the trade publications and this has been a bit of a hot topic. The fact that this director appeals only to a certain high-brow, liberal audience, when really something much more mainstream is called for has been stated over and over. And rightly so. Not so much because only a certain type of people like this humor, but rather because it’s so dry and so subtle that you don’t even know what in the world they’re talking about! You don’t know what it’s asking you. And you don’t care. If your job is to tell America the census is happening, explain what it is, and why it’s important, you should never, ever put this on TV. F-.

sjbooher: The Census has a much better ad that appeals to the need of communities to get their proper funding based on the Census info. That one is a win, this one is a fail. D-. I do like Ed Begley, Jr. though, if that counts.

#3.6 — Bridgestone Tires — Wet Future

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

jtherkal: Ugh. This is terrible on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. Nothing like a good joke about leaving your wife to get raped in a future world to save your tires. What an absolute load of crap. This basically says nothing about the tires, only about the Bridgestone tire marketing department and whatever sorry agency churned out this abomination. F-.

sjbooher: AND I JUST BOUGHT GENERALS! SUCK IT! F-

#3.4 — Michelob Ultra — Lance Armstrong

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

sjbooher: I admit to being totally biased here… I hate Lance Armstrong. F-.

jtherkal: I guess you’re not accepting the old one-nut sympathy card. I don’t like this for reasons other than Lance. First, I’ve always hated the beer-for-trim-lean-athletes-that-you-should-drink-after-exercise positioning. Although I guess it works, since I can think of at least two people who buy this shit. Second, where’d you find that song? FIFA ‘98? Come on! You spend all that money to get Lance Armstrong, go shoot him in the mountains and then pick that tired piece of shit song? Ugh. F.

#2.15 — Dr. Pepper — KISS

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

jtherkal: I hate KISS. And even though I can’t deny the “little kiss of cherry” in Dr. Pepper leading into a little person KISS band is marginally clever, if offensive, I still hate KISS. I hate little KISS just a little less. D-.

sjbooher: Sometimes I don’t “get” things. I didn’t “get” “little kiss of cherry”. When you couple that with my similar hatred? F-.

#1.11 — GoDaddy — Danica massage

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

sjbooher: Booooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. F.

jtherkal: The ONLY thing these ever had going for them was that they’d put girls with huge cans in really skimpy tops. This year’s crop of girls didn’t lead me to believe a breast was going to pop out. And there were no jokes about getting oiled up or anything? No redeeming qualities here. F-, for not delivering the goods.

#1.4 — Unknown Pro-Life foundation — Tebow Family

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

sjbooher: This ad stirred up so much pre-game controversy that I could not even find the ad itself on youtube — only a bunch of responses, parodies and spoofs. Here’s the thing… what’s the big deal? If there had been no new reports prior to the game, I would have watched this ad and said, “Huh? What was that for? Is Tim Tebow’s mom trying to get him drafted higher?”. F-. Extra emphasis because of the all the wasted time talking/thinking about this by everyone. Extra extra emphasis because when I hear the name “Tim Tebow” I can only think about circumcisions, so I’ve been thinking about them all week. Boo.

jtherkal: I’m going to agree with everything you said, except the circumcision part. Even after I watched this, knowing what it was about, I couldn’t figure out why THIS was what they decided to do. I thought maybe 30-seconds of a lockoff shot of a little jar with a fetus in it, labeled with masking tape that said Tim Tebow, while you listened to audio highlights of Tim playing would have been more striking. Instead they made a joke of it. Tim tackles mom. Nice one. I guess it’s better that than a giant hanger coming down from the sky and stabbing through Tim as he runs towards the Florida end zone. Man, I could write a million Tim Tebow pro-life commercials. F.

sjbooher: Give this man a soundtrack! Also, in my memory, now, this lady is Tim Tebow’s mom. Since she is the go-to comedy movie mom in Hollywood right now, we have the makings of a nice little summer comedy — Tim Tebow: Evade and Snip

#4.5 — Coke Zero — Troy Polamalu

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

sjbooher: In the words of the great Scott Huff, this ad is a complete dumpster fire. PTI’s Michael Wilbon put it best, I think: “The Troy Polamalu Coke ad was so bad. They desecrated a great ad, and the people who did it, should be fired. Ok? I know in this economy, I shouldn’t recommend that people be fired. They brutalized the greatest sports commercial of all-time. Mean Joe, ‘here kid’. They just killed it. GET OUT! GET OUT!”. F. F-.

jtherkal: The joke was that they were butchering the commercial. But that doesn’t make it okay. I loved those two guys in the original campaign, where they wanted to file a lawsuit against Coke Zero. But they’ve lost it here. And for the record, I love Wilbon and Kornheiser! I would say let’s get them in an ad, but that might ruin them as well. F.

#2.17 — Sobe — Dancing Football Players

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

sjbooher: Ok, everybody, I’m pretty sure I’m throwing this in Ad Exec Masturbation. Ad Exec 1: “Hey, we’ll get big football players to do ballet!” Ad Exec 2: “Yeah, and we’ll have them dance with our colorful lizards, and the lizards will act cool like you’d expect the football players to be!” Ad Exec 3: “Yeah, and it’ll be colorful! And 3-D! And no one will know! Let’s spend millions! Awesome!”. Nope. Terrible. F.

jtherkal: Ugh. Ray Lewis, really? You need to ask for a bigger contract or something, because this is downright embarassing. I’ve never been a fan of these stupid dancing lizards, and this spot made me want to rub hot wing sauce in my eyes and punch my TV–and I love my TV. F-.

However, I think the 3-D thing needs to be rated on its own. While I agree that not many people knew about it, if you did, it was the probably the biggest phenomenon at your Super Bowl party. At my house, someone brought enough 3-D glasses for everyone, so people were wearing them around all night. And then when the commercials finally came on it was a moment of great excitement. Until the Sobe commercial. Then it was a moment of great disappointment.

Still, they did a bad job letting people know they needed glasses. B.