sjbooher: Stella Artois WOULD have Adrien Brody performing in a Speakeasy. I like it. You are what we thought you were. It’s probably good if everyone hated it. The people that hated it are supposed to hate it. It is still not that great, in and of itself, so I can only go as high as C+. I should give it an A just for not being about cars.
jtherkal: What? Terrible. Za! Za! Za! F.
sjbooher: Cars! Cars! Cars! Buy a car! Brainwash! De-program! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F. And by the way, “Compact cars truly can get better mileage”? Also, sports cars TRULY can be fast, SUV’s TRULY can be convenient to carry a lot of stuff, and sedans TRULY can be useful for hiding dead bodies in the trunk. If I get a compact car that thang better have good MPG, girlfriend!
jtherkal: I’m sorry, I can’t write this. I just realized that compact cars don’t have to be boring. I have to go buy one now.
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Psyche! D-.
sjbooher: What? Oh, almost forgot… Cars! Cars! Cars! Buy A Car! F.
jtherkal: I don’t know if that’s just car commercial fatigue, or if you’re not happy about the reference to anal here, but I think F is a bit harsh. I like sex jokes of all types and I’m sort of surprised they got away with what is essentially a guy shoving a six foot sandwich up a car’s ass. Yeezy taught me. B+.
jtherkal: Ugh. Not only was this not very good, but I had to hear hype about it in advance. That’s right, people are always talking about Super Bowl commercials before the Super Bowl. Consider me officially against that. I like to be surprised. And unless your spot is unquestioningly mind-blowing, keep your mouth shut about it. I just didn’t like this, and when I finally noticed it was a Bieber dressed as an old man in the background at the end, it didn’t help much. F.
sjbooher: Bieber Fever! Bustin’ for Justin! Alliterative B’s — Bieber for Best Buy! I love it. I can’t explain it, but I love it. And ever since Coming To America, I love an “actor” playing multiple roles. I also appreciate that both celebrities involved here are clearly able to poke fun at themselves. It could have been a little better, but B for Bieber.
sjbooher: Cars! Cars! CAARRRRRRRSSS!!! BUY CARS!!!! DRIVE CARS!!!! SELL CARSS!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F. If someone buys a car because it interfaces with their Facebook account, well, they are an idiot.
jtherkal: I’m not going to disagree with that. However, since most of America is addicted to Facebook, this would be like saying “Chevy Cruz, now with a keg included and a hose that runs into your mouth so you can keep your hands on the wheel” to an alcoholic. Some people don’t care about much more than simple little features. D+.
jtherkal: In case you weren’t going to think it, they went ahead and put 1984 on the tablet at the start. This got my attention, but then did very little with it. I do like the subtle jab at Apple, where all the drones have what appear to be ipod earbuds in. What you didn’t do was actually show me how it’s different or better. B-.
sjbooher: Cars! Ca… oh, wait. Put me in a white jumpsuit all day… lobotomize me… whatever, I just don’t want to be THAT guy. And really? Putting 1984 on the tablet? Might as well go ahead and have a narrator yell, “Get it?”. Apple wins. Motorola loses. Fail. F.
sjbooher: Cars! Cars! Cars! The automotive industry is brainwashing you all night, but we are self-aware and cool and talk about it, so buy a Hyundai! MBW! Mr. Brain Wash! Oscars 2011! We are also run-of-the-mill and boring! This is not a Super Bowl level effort. Fail. F.
jtherkal: Brainwashing us into thinking we’re not being brainwashed if we like Hyundai.Show me a car that doesn’t look exactly like every other car, or a car that can fly to the moon or run on salt water at the end of that and maybe, maybe, I’d be in. I like the rhythm built at the beginning, but this is a big step down from the “think about it” campaign that I loved from a few years ago. D.
jtherkal: Made by consumer alert! Nut shot joke alert! Nerd joke alert! Terrible alert! F.
sjbooher: Lowest commond denominator, FTL. F.
sjbooher: Where to even begin. Horrible gender stereotypes and “manvertising“. Horrible racial stereotypes. Pepsi Max did their best to appeal to the lowest common denominator all night long. So lazy. I try never to drink your poison as it is, but if I do have a taste for it, you can bet I’m buying a Coke after this night of horrors. F.
jtherkal: Made and voted on by the consumer alert! Another one of the Pepsi/Dorito contest winners. Looks like this is how America thinks, since enough people voted on this one to make it one of the top three Pepsi Max spots. The ending is the worst possible part, with the can throw. Ugh. And what’s worse? The nagging wife stereotype, or if the commercial had been about a husband doing the same thing to a fat wife because Americans hate fat women? That guy ate soap. F-.
sjbooher: It’s becoming a rite of winter. Bud Light opens the Super Bowl ad-fest with trash. No exception here. It’s basically just mediocre, but the fact that it’s in the leadoff spot gives it an F.
jtherkal: Does the industry really not have better writers? Or do we just have terrible clients? Maybe I’m just out of touch with what America wants, because I don’t want this ad. At least not the way it’s made. D-.