I RATE ADS

sjbooher: I guess this is sort of memorable. I guess that guy probably does want a new job. I new the attempt at humor here fails with me and makes me angry. C-.

jtherkal: “I new the attempt at humor here…” What? Maybe you need a new job. This is a simple, memorable, instant classic joke. I didn’t see it coming, and I feel like that’s sometimes hard to do nowadays. And more than being a nice joke, it delivers the message. You get the ass end of the deal. Get a new job. The only problem is, I can never separate the Monster and CareerBuilder ads in my head. I think both sites suck. A-.

sjbooher: Booorrrrrrrr-ing. Boring and not funny. Mob themes are so overused at this point that it is extremely difficult to come up with something with originality. On top of that, this spot pales in comparison to the other Denny’s one, which was one of the best ads of the night. Nanerpus! The lone redeeming quality is the announcement of the free Grand Slam, which is an amazing promotion. D.

jtherkal: Boring? Nah. I can’t argue with mob themes being played out, but when that waitress draws the whipped cream face on the pancakes–it’s comedy! I love it! (begin Brian Fellows voice) That face is silly. (/Brian Fellows voice) Unfortunately, this should have been an ad for whipped cream, how it can make every situation fun or whatever. Instead, they roundabout you with some Denny’s stuff about having a serious breakfast. I don’t really think of Denny’s as serious anything. Not with Moons Over My Hammy. B-.

sjbooher: Try the Denny’s just off the 5 in the hidden California oil country. DEFINITELY serious breakfast.

sjbooher: Oh, God? Where do I even start? I’ll go with the obvious… “Jump Around”? I do not think there could have been a worse song for this ad. That song is played endlessly during sporting events throughout the country, so much so that it now just blends in with the crowd noise, whistles and pad smashing of football. And unless those astronauts have been on the moon for FIFTEEN YEARS that is not what they are rockin’ in the moon rover. F.

jtherkal: What!? I love Jump Around. And I’m not ashamed to say it. Does Bridgestone make space tires? It says official tires of NFL, not of NASA. I guess this is sort of fun and I bet older people like it. The song would feel hip to someone 40, and those people buy tires. B.

sjbooher: Reading your review makes me want to quit this forever.

jtherkal: Jump up, jump up and get down.

sjbooher: Good. I like avatars, cartoon characters, video game characters — all of that. I also like seing said things mixed into the real world. I also like Coke, especially Coke in a glass bottle with a straw. And now you’re telling me it turns monsters into hot girls? Awesome. A.

jtherkal: Eh. Whatever. I don’t like the song and I don’t really see how this is a Coke commercial. I guess you can do just about anything, then put Coke at the end and it works. I might like this if it was for something else. But it’s not. C-.

sjbooher: This one aired at halftime, and do to the fact it was not transmitted in widescreen, but in box form, like the rest of the local ads, I didn’t even think it was national run. On top of that, it’s a train wreck. They got arguably the least known member of this year’s gold medal winning USA basketball team, they use a bling-bling joke that might have been funny 10 years ago, and they try to force some sort of weird bargain prices and dedication combo on us. Disaster. F.

jtherkal: Boozer came at a discount, I guess. 40% off Team USA players with unibrows. And 40% off their grade. F.

sjbooher: Been there. Done that. C-.

jtherkal: I love football. I want to be excited for next season and for watching highlights or whatever. This does nothing for me. D.

sjbooher: Meh. Clever way to sell the “now” aspect of Nextel chirping? I guess. C+

jtherkal: Don’t get into the Super Bowl and run a commercial you’ve been running for months. Normally, I’d grade this higher. F.

sjbooher: Ok, everybody, I’m pretty sure I’m throwing this in Ad Exec Masturbation. Ad Exec 1: “Hey, we’ll get big football players to do ballet!” Ad Exec 2: “Yeah, and we’ll have them dance with our colorful lizards, and the lizards will act cool like you’d expect the football players to be!” Ad Exec 3: “Yeah, and it’ll be colorful! And 3-D! And no one will know! Let’s spend millions! Awesome!”. Nope. Terrible. F.

jtherkal: Ugh. Ray Lewis, really? You need to ask for a bigger contract or something, because this is downright embarassing. I’ve never been a fan of these stupid dancing lizards, and this spot made me want to rub hot wing sauce in my eyes and punch my TV–and I love my TV. F-.

However, I think the 3-D thing needs to be rated on its own. While I agree that not many people knew about it, if you did, it was the probably the biggest phenomenon at your Super Bowl party. At my house, someone brought enough 3-D glasses for everyone, so people were wearing them around all night. And then when the commercials finally came on it was a moment of great excitement. Until the Sobe commercial. Then it was a moment of great disappointment.

Still, they did a bad job letting people know they needed glasses. B.

sjbooher: It’s a well-known fact that I love mascots, and Chester the Cheetah is an awesome one. This produced a legit lol situation. Look how cool he is… who doesn’t want to be the Cheetos Cheetah? A.

jtherkal: For some reason I want to not like this, but I do. To the surprise of many, I’m a fan of pigeons. And when he has that hawk-hood on one at the end and says “Give daddy a kiss,” I became a fan. But through the Super Bowl “gotta stand out filter” this loses some points. B+.

jtherkal: The only things certain in life are death and taxes. The premise of this seems like it should be funny, but for some reason the ad doesn’t pay off. And the focus of this is on someone else, not on H&R Block. I also don’t like Death’s voice in this. Average. C.

sjbooher: I like everything about it, including when Death tells the guy he’ll seem in 8 days, and the dumb parking validation joke. Good work. A.