jtherkal: I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hope I never see another Clydesdale commercial. I feel like this is one of those Family Guy jokes, where the gag just goes on and on and on and on and just when you think it’s not funny, it goes on a little more, and a little more, until suddenly it’s funny just because it won’t end. You ever seen two horses fucking? F.
sjbooher: Back-to-back Clydesdales on that ass! Whut! Whut! D+
jtherkal: I am so unbelievably glad I’m not part of the team charged with writing fifty horse joke commercials. Sure, I could write some horse jokes, but they’d all be glue factory or horse-cock punchlines. F.
sjbooher: Who knew I would like this? I don’t really like Conan, but this is pretty funny. Of course, the Conan parts do not make me laugh, but the pedestrian at the end doing the robot and imitating Conan, that makes me laugh. But I still don’t know what this ad is for. Is it for Conan? C for Conan.
jtherkal: Oh, wait, you mean everyone saw that ad? Even though they said it would only be in Sweden? Conan should have kept not doing ads. F.
jtherkal: Violence is never the answer. I guess the challenge with beer commercials is that you can pretty much do anything, so unless you really hit it out of the park it feels sort of average. I like “does my pen have writability?” But overall I think drinkability is about the dumbest claim since Coors Light started selling on a platform of “cold.” C-.
sjbooher: Wow. To start off the festivities we are treated to an ad which is a completely an unoriginal idea, as it spoofs another commercial. I think the new saying is “epic fail”. F.
jtherkal: Now here’s a solid concept gone totally awry in execution. Jessica Simpson plus beer? Daddy likey. But wait, where is the bikini? Shouldn’t she be washing a horse or lathering up with oil? And is pairing her with that line a joke? Be smart, drink smart? It must be a joke. I’m sorry, but until you get her in panties dripping chocolate syrup onto her chest, I can’t endorse this ad. D.
sjbooher: These have been airing quite a long time now, but recently re-registered on my radar due to being run incessantly during Dodgers broadcasts. Over the years I have both hated and loved these spots, but now I’m going to go with love. They are a different take on the now famous Chuck Norris facts, and while I don’t like every single joke, I love the idea. I could do Chuck Norris facts (I like applying them to Ryan Braun, however) all night long if given a willing audience. The product is also well featured, and since these ads are pretty much the only reason I would ever drink this crap beer, they do their job well. A.
jtherkal: I don’t recall seeing this, which makes me one of the saddest men in the world. Perhaps it’s because I don’t live close enough to Mexico, and the media team on Dos Equis figures the only time you would drink Dos Equis is in Mexico. Regardless, “Stay thirsty, my friends,” when delivered by the most interesting man in the world is a phenomenal line. The film footage and the scripts are close to perfect. The potential for this to be a killer campaign is only hampered by the fact that it’s Dos Equis, which apparently has very limited resources. I would watch many more commercials like this and possibly even drink a Dos Equis in its honor. Then while leaving the bar where I had consumed said Dos Equis, say to many people, “Stay thirsty, my friends.” A-.
jtherkal: I rarely pull a 180 on an ad, but maybe I was in a bad mood when rating this the first time. I’m not coming around to an A+, but the fact that I sing along with the song and that I look forward to seeing that lumberjack and his madcat laughter means this deserves better than a C+. I still don’t really like Heineken. Skunky-ass beer. B+.
sjbooher: Another victory for………….. LIQUID GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jtherkal: It’s love. It’s love. It’s la la la la love. I don’t really like this commercial, but I like the song. To me, it sounds sort of like the South Park guys singing it. Here’s where this ad fails: It’s about giving someone a beer. That’s what a waitress does. The only part of sharing beer I care about is GETTING one. Save your altruistic sharing message for something un-beer-related, like pumpkin pie or something. Ad: D. Song: A. Overall: C+
sjbooher: Guess I just landed myself in CrazyTown! Are you crazy, jtherkal? This ad is awesome. You can horde your beer in the corner of your studio apartment all day and all night and drink it alone. I’ll be with my friends and non-friends alike, sharing the love. My favorite part, other than the song, is the maniacal laughter into which some of the beer recipients break, especially the old guy in the snow cabin. A+
P.S. — Can someone please put the Heineken “liquid gold” mini-keg ad on YouTube?
jtherkal: Dude. This idea had enough legs to be good for about one commercial. Dude. I think this was about the third or fourth version. Dude. And while it’s still pretty entertaining and true, it’s starting to get old. Dude. And a little annoying. Dude. Know when to say when. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. C.
sjbooher: Dude. I generally lean anti-dude… except in the Hip-Hop slang context, used when describing another person, as in: “that dude can hit the 3″. So the fact that I sort of liked the original of this campaign, was a bit of an upset. My colleague has nailed this one. While there is definitely something to be said for incessantly hitting the consumer of the head with the same idea, I just realized that as many times as I have seen or heard these spots, I could have maybe guessed it was for a Budweiser product, but I could not have had told you which one. Maybe the guy should have been saying “Bud”. Bud. Bud. Bud. C-.
jtherkal: This one has been running for awhile and I’m not sure why. Personally, I happen to enjoy a bottle of Coors Light from time to time. But I’ve never looked at the bottle to see if anything turned blue, and I never will. Why? Because my hand tells me when the beer is cold. If I have to walk all the way to the fridge to see if it’s cold yet, why wouldn’t I just feel the beer? Call me when you have a bottle that starts shouting “I’m cold! Drink up!” when it reaches the appropriate temperature. As for the ad itself, pitting the old “man’s desire for beer” against the trusted “woman’s desire to reproduce” isn’t all that clever. C+.
sjbooher: I don’t think my associate gets the joke. See, Coors Light has this new bottle with a label that changes color to blue once it reaches a certain temperature. Correspondingly, certain pregnancy tastes turn different colors based on the result — in this case, blue = pregnant. Now, the female in this ad is happy because she sees blue on her test, which means she’s pregnant. At first, she thinks the male is happy for the same reason, but eventually realizes he was talking about the beer bottle. Then, to top it all off, he thinks she has blue eyes! Get it? Hahahahahahahahaha. B+.
