I RATE ADS

jtherkal: I can’t wait until Lost starts again. Sawyer is the hottest shit on the streets. Whatever he does, I want to do. It says don’t dive, but he dives! Then he does some sort of leaping butterfly stroke. No one actually swims like that! Except for Sawyer. He defies convention. If I ever wore cologne, I would wear this brand, simply because Sawyer wants me to. A.

sjbooher: This ad is absolutely brilliant. For years I’ve seen Cool Water ads in Sports Illustrated, forever imprinting their brand in my head. Blue. Beefcake. Cool. Sex. Water. When the bigwigs over at Davidoff first saw Sawyer in the water during some random Lost episode, they probably couldn’t get his agent on the phone quick enough. He IS Cool Water. Amazing. Few times in life do the stars align so perfectly. The best part for Josh Holloway is he probably did not even have to leave the Lost set. Hell, he may not have even done any special filming for this joint. They easily could have found some “lost” footage from the show, gave it the ol’ cut and splice, and BAM — done. A+.

When I saw this commercial–and I’m not even going to bother explaining what it is–I thought at first that maybe it was a joke. That perhaps the Daytona 500, in trying to appeal to a slightly more sophisticated audience, had created a satirical ad, juxtaposing race car driving and a fragrance to draw attention to itself. So to check, I Googled it. Low and behold, it is an actual cologne. And not just a cologne, it’s after shave and shower gel.

Hmmmm, that makes sense. Let’s take something known for it’s traditional good-smellingness and brand some male hygiene products. Yes, the Daytona 500, home of such wonderful aromas as gasoline, burning rubber, sweaty fat redneck, half empty Natty Light cans stuffed with cigarette butts, and urine. That is definitely a smell you’d want to replicate and place on your face and body.

If the commercial had indeed been for the Daytona 500, I probably would have given it a B+ for being self-deprecating. But it’s not. F. F for being a retarded product.