I RATE ADS

sjbooher: Ok, everybody, I’m pretty sure I’m throwing this in Ad Exec Masturbation. Ad Exec 1: “Hey, we’ll get big football players to do ballet!” Ad Exec 2: “Yeah, and we’ll have them dance with our colorful lizards, and the lizards will act cool like you’d expect the football players to be!” Ad Exec 3: “Yeah, and it’ll be colorful! And 3-D! And no one will know! Let’s spend millions! Awesome!”. Nope. Terrible. F.

jtherkal: Ugh. Ray Lewis, really? You need to ask for a bigger contract or something, because this is downright embarassing. I’ve never been a fan of these stupid dancing lizards, and this spot made me want to rub hot wing sauce in my eyes and punch my TV–and I love my TV. F-.

However, I think the 3-D thing needs to be rated on its own. While I agree that not many people knew about it, if you did, it was the probably the biggest phenomenon at your Super Bowl party. At my house, someone brought enough 3-D glasses for everyone, so people were wearing them around all night. And then when the commercials finally came on it was a moment of great excitement. Until the Sobe commercial. Then it was a moment of great disappointment.

Still, they did a bad job letting people know they needed glasses. B.

jtherkal: Is it just me, or does she look sort of fake in this? Like it’s a CGI Naomi? Particularly during the close-up of her face drinking. This is slightly worse than the original one. C-.

jtherkal: If you ever want to see me dance like a robot and speak in robot voice, just play this commercial. If you’ve ever doubted the power of robot voice, your doubts should end here. And if you’ve ever wondered if there’s a keg out there with a futuristic delivery system, now you know. This gets in my head and even though I typically dislike Heineken, I always think about getting a draft keg. Innovate. Draft keg. Robot voice. Heineken. A.

sjbooher: I like it. They make the fembots seem as if they come from the essence of the keg, or vice versa, since everything is green and silvery. Also, they’ve had me ever since the “Liquid Gold” spot, which received the ultimate seal of approval — I’ve purchased this product strictly because of the advertising! In fact, a friend and I now have a tradition of buying one of this mini-kegs every time he comes to town. Do I particularly enjoy Heineken? No. Do I love Liquid Gold? YES! Unfortunately, I could not find that spot online, for your viewing pleasure. A+.

jtherkal:
The Big Equestrian! You gotta let Shaq talk! I want to know what he was shouting when he was pretend riding a horse. Send me the footage, because that’s comedy. This ad, however, is only alright. I love Shaq, so I’m predisposed to like it. But the whole Vitamin Water campaign feels tired to me(and they haven’t even done that many ads). Check out the original review here. I don’t see any reason to give this more than the B- the rest of the campaign has earned. B-.

sjbooher:
I’m with that guy. Shaq is naturally funny, yet they take the easy way out and only use the “joke in the can” of a big man in a small man situation. Shaq still hams it up enough where I crack a smile, but I’m also predisposed to all things Shaq. And doesn’t that one jockey’s jersey look like the Radio Shack symbol? I think about Radio Shack more than I do Vitamin Water. C+.