I RATE ADS

sjbooher: Strictly on the strength of Lamar Odom, the official player of L.O.N. A+. It’s actually probably too all over the place and did not reach the full potential of the idea. And honestly… what % of people watching this broadcast could even recognize Lamar Odom? And is T-Mobile pissed? Fave Five? 5 Buck Box? $5 Footlong? I do like “it rocks blocking shots, on guys with dreadlocks”, though. And even though I would never eat there, if at all possible, it does make me want to eat Taco Bell.

jtherkal: It’s rocka flocka flames lebron flocka james! I don’t even know what that means or why I’m saying it here, but I like it. When I first watched this during the game, I wasn’t paying attention and because I had seen and hated the poetry ad, I thought this would get an F. But this ad was 1000 times better. I like the song, I like Charles’ delivery, I like the randomness. As for Lamar, you’re too wrapped up in your basketball expert world. Get with the Karshadians! Rob’s Dream Factory! Lamar’s gone mainstream. B+.

sjbooher: I thought about the Kardashian factor… but I’m still not convinced. I need a poll conducted.

sjbooher: Ha, nice remark, Taco Bell. I get it. And damn, those enchiladas look delicious. Simple and to the point.

jtherkal: No grade? Maybe you wrote that post too fast. When he called her, I gave this a B. When she turned around and he was there with Taco Bell, I gave it an A. When his parents showed up, I gave it a B again. B+, actually.

Ahhh, I see, you wanted to give this an A, just forgot to type it. I’ll do it.

sjbooher: A.

jtherkal: Ha. Ha. I like that Burger King is willing to take risks, as this was clearly going to create some controversy. The idea breaks down when you get to the logic. Who cares what someone who has never, ever had a burger prefers? They might think grasshoppers or bamboo taste delicious. In America, we’re burger experts. I know a good burger. If someone from the moon gave me two kinds of moon cake to taste and I picked one, it wouldn’t necessarily mean that is the better moon cake. It would just mean to my unrefined palate, one is more familiar. And I’m sorry, but The Big Mac is in a different class than the Whopper; I don’t even consider The Big Mac a burger. It needs its own classification, like “delicious meatlike substance housed in breadlike objects.” D+.

jtherkal: As my girlfriend would say, “Womp womp.” Which is actually, waaa waaa–some sort of horn noise from television when something funny and deflating happens. It’s a noise you make when the joke is dumb and obvious, a mocking noise, which would be appropriate for this, since it’s not really funny. The old double-entendre “hot” joke, switching up spicy for sexy. Very clever Carl’s Jr. The sandwich even looks sort of disgusting. Fail. D.

sjbooher: This makes me laugh and smile every time. Sometimes a dumb and obvious jokes — “jokes in a can” as I like to call them — can be lazy and boring. Sometimes they are genious, like this one. Either way, whether you think it’s funny or not, it probably at least grabs your eye, and they use their trademark voice over guy, which instantly says “Carl’s Jr.”. I think I would have liked it a little bit better though if it had been slightly more subtle. The hit-’em-over-the-head punchline was unnecessary… or was it? This is mostly dumb America we are talking about. A.

jtherkal: At first I liked the King, his creepy silence and smiling face. And I still want to like him, but for some reason this just doesn’t do it for me. Part of the charm of the initial King ads was the voiceover selling “eggs and meat and cheese…and meat and cheese.” They made it sound and look good. The problem here could be that the product looks like absolute garbage. Smokey cheese sauce? I imagine that slides right through you and comes out looking eerily the same as it went in. That is NOT the breakfast of tomorrow. Nothing about this brings me joy. D+.

sjbooher: I love that King and his freaky hands. It is a great moment in time when the King gives us that jazz hands type motion after Mrs. Future comments on his hands. So weird it is good. The cheese sauce definitely scares me, but this ain’t irateproducts.com. Maybe they could have just glossed over the sauce a little more, or maybe THAT is the greatest drawing point. This is an overweight country, after all. A.

jtherkal: This falls under the catagory of “it doesn’t matter how good it is, if you see it a million times you remember it.” Taco Bell is nothing if not persistent in their advertising. Do i know the exact product? No. But I do know it’s filled with disgusting rubber cheese that hangs from people’s mouths. The only redeeming quality of this commercial is that they slipped death and an old man in there. Because I’ve seen it so many times, my brain is confused. Do I love it? Do I hate it? Ummmmm…I hate it. D+.

It should be noted that I love Taco Bell. When I go back to Michigan, my first stops are generally Arby’s & Taco Bell. That being said, I stick with the Taco Bell basics. Taco Supremes and maybe a Chilito every once in awhile. They used to serve Chilitos in the lunch line in middle school. What a healthy lunch for a growing boy…

sjbooher: Equal parts hate, rage and fury. I HATE that stupid, fake cheese. It just looks so fake that it is annoying. Other than the fake-ass cheese, it’s well done, making the cheese stand out that much more. It looks like it’s randomly stuck onto people’s faces… doesn’t cheese like that usually have each end connected to part of the food? Not your face. Anger. I can’t argue with the likely effectiveness, though. D+ it is.