Posts Tagged ‘male hygiene’

Head and Shoulders: Troy Polamalu

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

jtherkal: The best male-targeted shampoo commercials ever made. Isn’t it? No. Isn’t it? Yes. If you’re going to talk to me about shampoo during a football game, find a way to do it without showing some guy soaping up in the shower. You asked with your eyes, Trent. You asked with your eyes.

It’s possible I have beard dandruff. Can it treat that? A.

Old Spice Swagger — LL Cool J

Monday, October 6th, 2008

sjbooher: For all intents in purposes, despite being a Hip-Hop pioneer and an all-time great when the first half or so of his career is considered, LL has been on cruise control for around a decade or so. That being said, he is — and has been — mainstream enough, that he’s one of the few Hip-Hop representatives that I have found myself often encountering when around mixed (the Hip-Hop ignorant and the non-ignorant) company over years. As a result, I’ve been in the weird spot of having to defend someone whom I would trash if discussing with a different set of people. This dates back to watching some award show in college when some Michigan girl made an ignorant comment about LL’s outfit, which I found equally ridiculous but for much different reasons. I had to defend him. With this ad, at least I legitimately like it, regardless of audience. Funny, and I even now own Old Spice Swagger! Yes, ladies and germs (word to Garfield), Ads That Work. A.

jtherkal: Joke in a can alert! Someone cool used to be a nerd? This is mildly funny and not quite up to the standard of advertising that Old Spice has set for itself over the last year or so. I do like, “Now look at me. Nice.” After Deep Blue Sea, I can’t really take anything LL does seriously. I mean, genetically enhanced, super smart sharks? Wait, I should love that, right? I don’t love this, but I certainly don’t hate it. B-. Swagger is a pretty good name, though.

And for the record, I ALWAYS thought is was “for all intensive purposes.” And I now believe it to be “for all intents and purposes,” not “in purposes.”

sjbooher: Yes, I know it is “intents and purposes”… typo. The most likely reason jtherkal and I fight one day — his incessant grammar correction, WHEN HE AS NO SPELLING ABILITY especially when it comes to people’s names (which I think is sacred). And he legitimately thinks I do not know the correct answer, not considering the possibility of typos.

Davidoff — Cool Water

Friday, September 19th, 2008

jtherkal: I can’t wait until Lost starts again. Sawyer is the hottest shit on the streets. Whatever he does, I want to do. It says don’t dive, but he dives! Then he does some sort of leaping butterfly stroke. No one actually swims like that! Except for Sawyer. He defies convention. If I ever wore cologne, I would wear this brand, simply because Sawyer wants me to. A.

sjbooher: This ad is absolutely brilliant. For years I’ve seen Cool Water ads in Sports Illustrated, forever imprinting their brand in my head. Blue. Beefcake. Cool. Sex. Water. When the bigwigs over at Davidoff first saw Sawyer in the water during some random Lost episode, they probably couldn’t get his agent on the phone quick enough. He IS Cool Water. Amazing. Few times in life do the stars align so perfectly. The best part for Josh Holloway is he probably did not even have to leave the Lost set. Hell, he may not have even done any special filming for this joint. They easily could have found some “lost” footage from the show, gave it the ol’ cut and splice, and BAM — done. A+.

Gillette — Champions

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

jtherkal: I absolutely despise this ad. The worst part is at the end where Federer touches Tiger’s face. Nice touch, clever director. Nice acting, Tiger. And “the only day that matters is today?” I would argue that tomorrow matters as well. The only good part about this ad is that someone probably said to themselves if I have to make a shitty Gillette ad, I might as well meet my three favorite athletes. F.

sjbooher: This is completely forced and horrible. Awful. I don’t understand the premise either. There aren’t 3 people in the United States that can pronounced Thierry Henry’s name, let alone know who he is. There aren’t 7 people in the United States that care about men’s tennis anymore. Maybe this would work better in Europe? I don’t get the athlete selections at all, other than Tiger, of course. F.

Brett Favre Is Football. Brett Favre is America.

Thursday, March 6th, 2008


(image by GVD)

In honor of Brett Favre’s retirement from professional football, we here at are taking a moment to remember him and thank him for all the years of hatred and joy he has brought us by rating every Brett Favre ad we can find on YouTube. I grew up a Lions fan, so for most of my life I hated Brett Favre with the intensity of 1000 suns. Then he got old and flawed and gristled. And I grew to love him for his passion and the way he played the game of football. Just a good ol’ boy out there having some fun on a Sunday. It’s a shame no one every harnessed his pure goodness in the perfect advertising campaign–some came close…

Mastercard Ad

jtherkal: The Priceless campaign seems to always have pretty good work and this is no exception. Monday morning quarterback, get it? You know Brett would’ve double bagged it. Brett: A. Mastercard: B+.

sjbooher: Love it. What he said. And I love consistent campaigns that work and brand your product… although I still don’t understand credit card advertising in general, really. Brett: A+. Mastercard: A+.

Rayovac Batteries

jtherkal: You’re Brett Favre, you are America, you are football. And you choose to endorse Rayovac? If you’re Rayovac, every endorsement wet dream you’ve ever had is coming true as Brett reads your shitty tag line to the camera. If you’re Brett, you have to be thinking: where’s Energizer? Brett: F Rayovac: C-

sjbooher: Ho-hum. It’s a good effort by Rayovac to get their name out there, and I like the football-themed, “Laaaaaaabeau Fiiieeeeld”-esque voiceover guy that’s really just an employee. And it’s true, Brett is simply a pretty face, in this one. I have to ask this, though. Do people really get suckered in by moneyback guarantees? Is any consumer buying Energizers and Rayovacs then taking them home to see which one powers their flashlight longer? If it makes people buy your product, it’s genius, as probably about 0% of people ever pull your card. The jury (meaning my opinion) is still out on that aspect of this one. Brett: C-. Rayovac: C+.


jtherkal: I guess it’s from 1997, so the fact that the music feels all wrong might not be accurate. Maybe in 1997 it was perfect. The fact that this was from over 10 years ago and would still work as an ad today is a testament to Brett Favre and to Nike. Brett: A Nike: A-

sjbooher: To me, this would still work because it’s boring as hell. Maybe that’s because it’s been drilled into my head over and over again how much of a loose cannon Favre is on the field. Maybe this worked better during that time, but I hated Brett Favre then, so I probably would have liked it even less. And what is Nike even advertising? Are they selling Brett Favre figurines? Just the overall brand, I guess, but it’s more of a Favre ad than a Nike ad. Brett: C-. Nike: D.


jtherkal: Ugh. I guess Brett is a hometown hero, so you’re bound to get some of these. This was played at Lambeau field during a game. I’m sure thousands of drunk Packer fans stopped in their tracks to watch Brett deliver this boring-ass endorsement. But fresh cookies? That’s worth something. Brett: D Bergstrom: D

sjbooher: The fresh cookies alone makes this a great ad. In a town like Green Bay, I’m not even sure if the consumers have much of a choice, when it comes to auto dealerships, and they definitely do not after this ad. Maybe it’s preaching to the choir, but it’s a slam dunk. Brett: B. Bergstrom: A+.

Bergstrom — Smart Car

jtherkal: 16 years? Well, Brett, that’s a commitment to your sponsors. That’s the kind of All-American leadership and dedication we like to see. But Smart Cars? In Wisconsin? I can’t think of a worse place to have a smart car. I’m sure those handle great in a foot of snow. What, did the dealership accidentally fill check the wrong box on their order form? Brett Favre is not the man to be selling Smart Cars. Brett sells trucks, idiots. Brett: D Bergstrom: F

sjbooher: Yeah, this is just plain weird. Brett puts in a fine effort though, as we works with what they give him, just like he did every Sunday for the Packers. While I question Bergstrom’s decision to sell this car in the first place, I’m here to rate the ad, and it’s pretty good. It’s informative and they use their ace-in-the-hole, Brett Favre, in an attempt to sell a possibly unsellable product. And that jingle is quality work — Berrrrg-strooooom They can give a great deal more!. Brett: B. Bergstrom B.


jtherkal: Brett driving some sort of bulldozer? Brett walking in the woods with his dogs, Brett sawing logs! Brett cookin’ crawfish for the boys Brett chillin’ on the dock with his daughter (I assume) Brett throwin’ the pigskin. Yup. That’s just Brett being Brett. Prilosec understands, Brett Favre IS AMERICA! It doesn’t really matter what the product is. Brett: A Prilosec: A

sjbooher: Chalk this up to an ad that worked for at least one consumer. This ad aired right around the time I figured out that I have acid problems and, thanks to Brett, I went out and gave it a whirl. So I guess I can’t too critical, but I do have some issues with this one. While it’s awesome to have Brett doing all that stuff… WHAT THE HELL DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH HEARTBURN? Only one activity is relevant — the crawlfish eating. “Day 5, I just chilled”. And you can’t do that with heartburn? Weird. Brett: A+. Prilosec: C+.

Edge Pro Gel

jtherkal: If you can shave Brett’s man-face, you can shave anything. That’s the selling point here. Edge missed it, you still have Brett shaving. Brett: A Edge: C+

sjbooher: Now that way know “5 o’clock shadow” Brett so well, it’s hard to think of it as a good thing he’s shaving. Also, maybe Reggie forgot to look in the mirror, because he has a goatee, so he sorta didn’t shave either! Anyway, this a fun, playful ad that gets the point across, although it is a bit dated now. Brett: C. Edge: C+.

3-A-Day Dairy

jtherkal: Can we even count this? Was that Brett we saw at 00:28? I think it was. So let me say this: shame on you 3-A-Day. Brett Favre is the face of Wisconsin, the home of cheese. And all you can do is slip him in at the end? No one even cares about those other people. Unless they’re somehow famous people with strong bones and healthy bodies from states known for their diary products, why even bother? Brett: A 3-A-Day: F

sjbooher: It’s not completely Brett-centric, but good nonetheless. Look at those tasty dairy treats. What my cohort may be forgetting is that Favre was not always the picture of wholesome goodness. He went through some painkiller and alcohol addiction days when companies may have shied away from him a bit. Brett: Incomplete. 3-A-Day: B.


jtherkal: I can’t even begin to explain how disappointed I was to not find Brett’s Wrangler commercial anywhere. This is the best I could do. In its original form, the Wrangler commercial is the 100% correct usage of Brett Favre. You walk away with a crystal clear message: Brett Favre is America, Wrangler Jeans are America. For some reason the ridiculousness of pairing this with Mims makes me laugh. Hilarious. Someone spent an afternoon cutting that together. Wild. Strange Video: B- Brett: A+ Wrangler: A+

sjbooher: This is easily my favorite all-time Brett Favre ad. It nails the Wrangler brand image 100%. Perfect. Brett: A+. Wrangler: A+


jtherkal: How apropos. It is hard to say goodbye. We’ll miss you Brett, even though we sometimes hated you. Brett: A NFL: A

sjbooher: Every cloud has a silver-lining. Now we won’t have to endure another year of “Will he retire? Will he comeback?” debates. Brett: A. NFL: A+

Old Spice — Jackie Moon

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

For your viewing enjoyment, one YouTube user has pieced together eight of the Jackie Moon commercials. Enjoy.

jtherkal: Many thanks to the one person in a meeting at Weiden who blurted out, “wouldn’t it be funny if we had Will Ferrell do our deodorant commercials in his Jackie Moon character?” The answer is yes, it would. Ferrell is almost always on his game, and I would say 80% of these result in laughter. Promote your movie, promote your deordorant, split the cost. It’s the strongest street-legal idea outside of Mexico that’s not poison. A+.

sjbooher: How lucky did Old Spice get? Jackie Moon was genetically engineered to fit the quirky, off-beat humor schtick they have been using to peddle products. A match made in Heaven… or at least Hollywood! A+

Axe Body Spray–Hard Boiled Skin

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

jtherkal: Hmmmm, do I want to spray a product on my body that makes my skin peel away like a hard-boiled egg shell? I understand this is some sort of metaphor for peeling away the dirt smell, but this is still kind of disgusting. Take a damned shower.

And Axe, stick to the formula of showing me that spraying your product on me will turn hordes of busty college girls into ravenous sex kittens, hungry with desire for my goods. That is a lie I’d like to believe, not that deodorant is an acceptable substitute for cleanliness. D-.

sjbooher: I just recently saw this one and was planning to post it myself with almost identical analysis. I agree. D-.

Old Spice — Hair and Body Wash

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

jtherkal: I don’t think I need to go into much detail here. Just good, clean comedy. Has this ever been on TV? I’m not sure. Might be a YouTube phenomenon.

“Sure, criminal.” A.

sjbooher: I can vouch it has been on TV, as I’ve seen it possibly 3,489 times this week, while watching basketball. Eh. Some parts are funny, some parts a little gross. It’s not as good as some of their others, but it still fits the quirky, off-beat comedy feel they’ve been going with. B-.

Elizabeth Arden, Daytona 500 Cologne: F

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

When I saw this commercial–and I’m not even going to bother explaining what it is–I thought at first that maybe it was a joke. That perhaps the Daytona 500, in trying to appeal to a slightly more sophisticated audience, had created a satirical ad, juxtaposing race car driving and a fragrance to draw attention to itself. So to check, I Googled it. Low and behold, it is an actual cologne. And not just a cologne, it’s after shave and shower gel.

Hmmmm, that makes sense. Let’s take something known for it’s traditional good-smellingness and brand some male hygiene products. Yes, the Daytona 500, home of such wonderful aromas as gasoline, burning rubber, sweaty fat redneck, half empty Natty Light cans stuffed with cigarette butts, and urine. That is definitely a smell you’d want to replicate and place on your face and body.

If the commercial had indeed been for the Daytona 500, I probably would have given it a B+ for being self-deprecating. But it’s not. F. F for being a retarded product.