sjbooher: The other Intel ad was such a success that I can’t even find this one online due to the robot one popping up so much in search results. That makes this one mediocre in comparison. C.
jtherkal: Apparently even a computer nerd doesn’t know how to use the “search” part of a computer. I found it in .5 seconds, which makes me smarter than you. But it doesn’t make your grade wrong. C+. The plus is for computer labs in college.
sjbooher: B for booooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring. So really a D. The only thing saving them from an F is that really, they are the only domain hosting site that the computer illiterate really know about, and that is solely because of their continued Super Bowl presence.
jtherkal: First, Danika Patrick is not causing ANY fuss. None. And what do you want me to see more of? A girl in an unrevealing tank top? Give me a break. The SI Swimsuit Issue just came out. Maybe there’ll be some actual melons in there. F.
sjbooher: I think they actually ran the same spot previously reviewed, so instead, here is some comedic gold for ya’ll. The question at this point is, who has the bigger gambling debt — Joe Montana, or Luke Wilson?
jtherkal: Such a skeptic. Are you saying there’s no possible way that Joe Montana tried this product and realized that it’s actually super effective at shaping his calves? Because that’s what I’m saying. There was one point, at about :37 when you can tell he’s laughing as he thinks about how he’s going to kill himself after the shoot. Maybe he was on the Nicolas Cage shopping plan.
I think I have to up my grade for Sketchers for somehow pulling this off. B.
jtherkal: Let me see if I have the formula right. Begin with stupid, somewhat predictable joke situation. Follow with some sort of slapstick comedy. Make $500,000. Can I get a film crew, a donkey, a blindfold, a wiffle-ball bat, and a bag of Doritos. And go ahead and put in a bid for that 1BR in the East Village. I’m about to have some dough. C-, for Dorito suit craftsmanship.
sjbooher: F. And I don’t have to explain why at this point, right?
jtherkal: How can you give an F to an ad with such great jokes! Man abandons softball for book party! Do you like Little Women? Yeah, I’m not too picky! Kazam! That’s gold, Jerry, gold! Now you’re going to tell me you don’t like Seinfeld. Go back to Russia. It is what we thought it was. C+.
sjbooher:We’ve proven throughout this year’s review process that you CAN make great ads without using lazy stereotypes… gender or otherwise! And here’s further proof, USA Today’s top 10 based on actual people’s reactions. So that’s how I can given it an F. Not only is it lazy and offensive, it’s ineffective.
sjbooher: Good song, good comedy, good idea taking advantage of “green marketing”. For the non-Fox News set, it’s cool to be green right now, and this campaign capitalizes on that. A.
jtherkal: The song is enough to push it up past a C, which in this year’s crop makes this an automatic top ten. A police anteater? This was waaay better than I thought it was going to be, having seen some sort of preview before the Super Bowl. I don’t know if I’d remember which car company did it. Although if I was rich enough to afford an Audi clean Diesel, I might have paid more attention. B+.
sjbooher: Screaming chickens! Yes!!!! Screaming chickens in space so you can’t hear the scream! Yes!!! Chicken president! Chicken secret service! I can’t get enough. A+
jtherkal: Maybe Denny’s should have used a Tim Tebow chicken and a Tim Tebow’s mom chicken to do an ad about preventing the murder of unborn chickens. A.
sjbooher: So they ran out of time on the animation right? Is that squirrel in an attic? A garage? Outside? In what room is there a pineapple and a bar with weights? Why is the room empty… and yet also full of stuff? What does the song have to do with a “new idea”? When is this cool new animated movie about a squirrel coming out? D.
jtherkal: I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand. Is that squirrel getting ready for winter? So he needs a van? Are we supposed to use Honda vans like extra storage space? Was he cleaning out his tree carport so he could park his Honda there? “Just what we all need, another brilliant idea from Honda.” What does that even mean, coming after 25 seconds of a squirrel cleaning up? I think they mixed up the footage and VO. Maybe this was supposed to be an animation for some ad about storage and there would have been some clever line about squirrels, nuts, vans, and more room. F.