I RATE ADS

jtherkal: With the whole Arthur-Anderson-renamed-Accenture sneaky marketing move gone and all but forgotten, Accenture has moved on to further disgrace themselves by creating terrible ads. I see the logic they’re using: Tiger Woods is good at golf, businessmen like golf, so let’s put Tiger and golf and business together. Their line “Go on, be a Tiger” makes me throw up in my mouth, and the new line “We know what it takes to be a Tiger” is almost as bad. They force fit their message clumsily into images of Tiger golfing, resulting in an embarassing, pun-filled, hack-job campaign.

The only redeeming value is that this campaign gave birth to one of my favorite advertising stories. I know two of the creatives who were unfortunate enough to work on it. Unhappy as they were to be strapped with the assignment of writing terrible lines to go with pictures of Tiger golfing, they gave it the old college try. During their work, they noticed that a lot of the headlines bought by the client sounded like they came right from fortune cookies. So they went down to Chinatown and bought a bag of 200 fortune cookies, cracked them open and started to pick out the fortunes that might work as lines. They presented the list of lines to their creative director, who thought they were BRILLIANT. The lines sold and now, in the archives of Accenture ads, you can find some fortune cookie gems. I was in the airport one day and saw one that was clearly a result of their efforts, which read “At first, all great tasks seem impossible.” Like doing a good ad for this campaign, I imagine. F.

sjbooher: True confessions: I love puns. True confessions part II: I have no idea why this is so bad. Seems fine to me. Simply including the stills and clips of Tiger is probably a win… and then they didn’t get too over-the-top with “we’re so witty” copy — just simple puns and quotes that don’t detract from the message: “Be the best in the world at what you do, come to us”. Overly creative? No. Will it win any awards at some holier-than-thou ad awards ceremony? Apparently not. Will business people like a company associated with Tiger? Yes. C.

sjbooher: We recently reviewed the new Tiger Woods Gatorade ad. Oh the times, the are a changin’. I’ve definitely come full circle on this one. When I hear the opening space radio talk, I come running to any room with a TV. Then the music comes in… it’s monumental… it’s epic! The music is climaxing… the backswing… BOOOOM — knock that sucker to Mars! He really smashed that ball. Show ‘em those pearly whites, Tiger! Awesome. I love it and I can’t get enough. I’m officially a convert. A.

jtherkal: Dumb. F.

jtherkal: When you’re the greatest golfer on Earth, what’s next? Another bad ad. Why is it so hard for people to do good advertising with Tiger Woods? Accenture absolutely blows it. Buick never got it (and I worked on that shit). Nike usually does pretty well. But Gatorade misses the mark here. Tiger golfing on the moon? What a stupid-ass concept. You have perhaps the world’s most recognizable athlete and you cover his face the whole time. Plus, you put him on the f’ing moon, where the lack of gravity makes it sooooo easy to hit the ball a mile. That’s just basic science. The only way this would be a good ad is if it were for Tiger Woods Moon Juice, a brand of Gatorade actually produced on the moon. TIGER WOODS MOON JUICE! F.

sjbooher: Tiger Woods Moon Juice gets an A+! This gets something else. Is it really a good idea to roll out a Tiger Woods ad campaign for his new Gatorade drink when Gatorade has a simultaneous campaign for their new G2 drink, featuring athletes from several different sports? Maybe they do not care which one you buy, but if they were hoping for any sort of product distinction, they might be in trouble. This ad is full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. D.